L’Étranger

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What if I were

To not feel pain

What if I were

To not see love

 

Would I have

Lived this life in vain

Would I have

Found the eternal truth

 

What if I were

Deemed insane

What if I were

Incarcerated for the lack of tears

 

Would I have

An afterlife to gain

Would I have

Died a martyr?

 

If I were a stranger

To this unsought fame

If I weren’t a stranger

To the ways of the world

 

Would this noose

Have been my fate

Would this noose

Have meant anything at all?

 

I am now ready

To face the pain

I am now ready

For a thousand guillotines

 

For there is no greater joy

than the beauty in bane

For there is no greater joy

than the embrace of a void…

 

“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”- Albert Camus

Divinity

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I will die in vain

Insignificance is always a virtue

I will suffer pain

Just because it is easy to do

His eye on the sparrow

Doesn’t always mean

Mending of the unearthly

Broken arrows

He watches me

These are tests perhaps?

Or so say voices

That break through these mishaps

What of blood that’s easy

Does He seek to ebb the flow?

Did we deserve His desertion

By walking in these sinful shoes?

Does He exist?

My bed refuses

Wants me to live in reality

But my heart slowly refuses

Suddenly its daybreak

And the wings folded through the night

Are now wider than

The broken sunlight!

He sees me

When my love has given up

He shines through

When love’s darkness is all around us!

To believe or not to believe

Was never my question

All I asked was what my soul was capable of

And suddenly He was my expression!

I listen to the braying of my heart

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It beats without permission

This mechanical piece of passion

And when the world around me gives up

And the dreams are falling apart

I listen to the braying of my heart

 

The candles they burn out

At the turn of that last page

My story remains unread

In the depth of the dark

I still listen to the braying of my heart

 

My mirror it stares

A boorish sight it beholds

Hollow eyes on a blank canvas

While they deafen out my soul’s talk

I listen to the braying of my heart

 

The hands are now numb

The world passed me by

As my soul turns weary

And legs give up the walk

I listen to the braying of my heart

Undeterred.

I am. I am. I am.

On Lazy Vacations

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Think small, breathe deep

Wait for joy to rescue me?

 

Sit in silence across a table

Nodding off over crappy fables

 

Listening to the moans of an empty heart

Intensity to a man is just a small sum of parts

 

My soul will select her societies

My faith will live, perched on golden deities

 

Insignificance is dreary

When the mirror tells of it so clearly

 

I have barely been a day

Under the sun’s glare by the bay

 

And yet thoughts of life and death come easy

Like warm and cold in an empty sea breeze

 

Here in a room full of strangers

I find my voice the loudest and in danger

 

This thought

It had to be put down

That smile

It had to be spent

For a heart

Whose love knows no bounds

Hurts when

It is strummed into silence.

Relentless

Never a reality

Always a fleeting thought

She lets her dreams ebb and flow

Through a destiny rust wrought

She walks on embers

Across scintillating skies

Her smile is precious

Even through moist eyes

Did they write this sorrow?

Did they know she will rise

Like a phoenix through the ashes

Did they see her sunrise?