Reeling me into your haunting spirits
You are not the man who I await
You are not my lover
I’m not yours to keep
Remember the colors of my tainted face?
You put them there yesterday
You think it was a brand on display?
I’m not yours to claim
Magnifying your pain like it matters
To this edge of my mind
You are not my Muse
I’m refuse to write your hate
These walls are the expert witness
In the trial of our lives
You are not my owner
I’m not a contract you negotiated
This night will not be your ally
Not while I walk out to the floor lights
You won’t stand on the podium
I won’t be your trophy
You taught me silence
How to step out of battles
For you saw no other way
Taught me that life
Can only be lived in a box
Can exist without a touch
Me – for all my death and darkness –
Was showered with gifts and cards
But no poetry was read in the house
For minds aren’t meant to be understood
Mothers and daughters come in shapes
In the shape of a tear
Or the unforgiving page of a diary
Does your fear and my longing have a shape?
What did she teach you?
The reality of womanhood?
The lack of wings?
Or the desperation of an ambition?
Did you laugh as a child?
Have friends you’d fly for?
A Sister you’d die for?
Were you lonely in your mind?
Was your mother as unhappy as mine?