Growing up….

image

Where is the song that was sung,
The heart that won
With a loss so big
Your soul was undone

Where is that lullaby
That flickered in your mind’s eye,
Kissed your small sighs
Bid your sorrow goodbye

Where is the sun that rose
At the end of the night’s woes
Lifted your black veil
Held your fragile heart so close

Where is the pride that led
You to refuse that measly bread
To say no his cursed bed
And instead of shame choose death

Where is the smile
That appeared without prejudice or trial
It’s lost in these worn miles
Across these roads muddied and riled…

Her shadow

image

I was born as an afterthought
A shadow of her truth
I was never surprised
That I wasn’t their God’s perfect muse

I was a plan B
A wilful addition
Aren’t we all?
We ,the secondary volitions…

I often wonder
Would I have been different
If she’d have stepped in after me
Like her, would I have been as benevolent

In sharing their love
Like a share of the pie
Would I have done the same?
If she teared up would I have cried?

Would I have felt then
What I feel now
Would I have thought myself
A useless tug along tow?

But it hits me
Uselessness is a disease
It has nothing to do with her
My mind goes where it pleases

And it pleases to think me
Unnecessary!
I’m masochistic that way
Without her as my blissfully ignorant glee

image

Sigh. Smile. Reminisce.
The thought awakens real slow
In this empty world
I’d rather be her shadow
Than go it alone
Or grant her my own

FIXED IDEAS

1. Everyone is nice unless proved otherwise.

2. No one is out to get you (unlike what you believed or were made to believe as a child)

3. Sometimes we love people even when we hate them. And at other times we love them when we love them.

4. Childhoods can in fact be happy.

5. Good memories are hard to come by. We should pen them down the moment we remember them. We should not write down the bad ones because they only instill revenge

6. Revenge is a useless weapon. It’s a double edged sword that kills both you and your opponent

7. Indifference is a far bigger and better weapon than revenge; it sets you free and makes your opponent feel like an ant.

8. Gut feelings are real; listen to them and trust them!

9. “If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. … Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” Bob Marley

10.The sick and twisted men in Delhi, who are likely to rape women, will rape you whether or not you smile on the streets. If you are forever in danger, might as well smile through your fear.

11.Never read the books you read as a child when you grow up; the world has destroyed your innocence and you can’t earn it back by rereading childhood favorites

12.Read your favorite novel once every month. It reminds you that deep down you really haven’t changed

13.Be unconditional in love; and stop expecting the unconditionality from anyone but yourself because that then makes it all conditional.

14.Express your fears openly; the more you talk about it the less scary it seems.

15.Faith in God doesn’t have to be explicit, it’s ok to pray only when we are sad because we are all rarely happy anyway

16.Suicidal thoughts are not an effect of any kind of depression. Sometimes they just stem from curiosity.

17.While I am not the best person anyone could hope to meet, I am not the worst either, I have come to believe in the beauty of mediocrity.

18.How we see the world is a reflection of how we see ourselves. Hence, the point number 1.

19.Self pity is just another word for procrastination

20.Having fixed ideas eventually kills you.

21.Scratch the above 20 ideas 😦