I listen to the braying of my heart

image

It beats without permission

This mechanical piece of passion

And when the world around me gives up

And the dreams are falling apart

I listen to the braying of my heart

 

The candles they burn out

At the turn of that last page

My story remains unread

In the depth of the dark

I still listen to the braying of my heart

 

My mirror it stares

A boorish sight it beholds

Hollow eyes on a blank canvas

While they deafen out my soul’s talk

I listen to the braying of my heart

 

The hands are now numb

The world passed me by

As my soul turns weary

And legs give up the walk

I listen to the braying of my heart

Undeterred.

I am. I am. I am.

Perhaps

image

Perhaps love grows
In conversations
Or in smiles
Or in ambiguous persuasions

In my stupid mind
I first fall then rise
Ebbing and flowing in waves
Of dreamy sighs

And then on starry nights
Under the yellow lamp posts
I slowly give in
And abandon my unholy ghosts

The voices are quiet
For now
They await the slow destruction
Of the written word’s flow

They only know darkness
Found shadows
Under bright lights
And never let the night go

Perhaps now in the eternal sunshine
Of a mind sans blemishes
They slowly unravel
And surrender to the heart’s wishes

Because…

Because it always ends
Before it even begins
Because I lose my thought
Each time time twists and spins

Because truths often
Hurt more than the lies
Because running away
Helps the soul’s infinite sky

Because the best world
Is always a fantasy
Because one step out of the bell jar
Brings you back to reality

Because every life unloved
Is a life that is dead
Because in every love what’s told
Is never enough said

Because every soul has an audience
And every audience a voice
Because even music sometimes
Is just a lot of noise

Because that which doesn’t kill
Gives you pleasure too
Because everyday I breath this dead air
I love you too….

image

The Red Shoe

image

A little red shoe
Is the gateway
To the world
Full of dreams for you

It lies in innocence
Deep in the garden
Of my blooming daffodils
Awaiting your remembrance

A swing set sways
Blown by the wind
Wishing for your company
On this winter’s day

Awaiting your tiny hands
That held on to the chains
And with each rise
Imagined unknown mysterious lands

A lovely dressed up doll
Sits alone at your tea party
She misses the hugs
That kept away the night’s cold

She awaits mundane conversations
Your fairy tale concerns
The view from the dollhouse now:
Everyday is a dark revelation

Perched on my window sill
My cold dark mind
Flutters like that bee
Buzzing around my daffodils

They miss your touch so tender
Their beauty belying the truth
They bloom from the love
Seeping through from six feet under….

Hope

image

High among the clouds
Lies a beauty of hope
Her flight in history
Has been ebbing in endless flows

She is perched in feathers
Exudes a beauty ethereal
She smiles when surrendering
To our dreamy tears

Up in the sky
Does she see the path
Blurred with the walls
Stuck in an eternal aftermath

Everything is a result
Of something sinister
Does Hope see the light
Across this dark reflective river?

Is she in the sun
That shines through the tiny window
Is that her in the corner of the eye
Begging my soul to let go?

Does she like an angel
Fly in the depths of a mind’s sky
Or is she the Icarus
Who falls after an unreal flight?

Her shadow

image

I was born as an afterthought
A shadow of her truth
I was never surprised
That I wasn’t their God’s perfect muse

I was a plan B
A wilful addition
Aren’t we all?
We ,the secondary volitions…

I often wonder
Would I have been different
If she’d have stepped in after me
Like her, would I have been as benevolent

In sharing their love
Like a share of the pie
Would I have done the same?
If she teared up would I have cried?

Would I have felt then
What I feel now
Would I have thought myself
A useless tug along tow?

But it hits me
Uselessness is a disease
It has nothing to do with her
My mind goes where it pleases

And it pleases to think me
Unnecessary!
I’m masochistic that way
Without her as my blissfully ignorant glee

image

Sigh. Smile. Reminisce.
The thought awakens real slow
In this empty world
I’d rather be her shadow
Than go it alone
Or grant her my own

Fate, thou art so temperate

Fate you are so temperate
Leaving me awash skin and bone
You drop in like a storm
Fly me away to a grim unknown

You dont care for a lonely heart
Made complete by love
You care for time
And not the wrinkles on the brow

Fate, you remain a friend
Who holds on when we let go
You wake me up at night
And hug my mortal soul

You shine through
The darkest hours you bring
Like a black star you shine
And motherless lullaby you sing

Fate, will you hold my hand
When I lose my pride
To the undead faces
I meet on this life’s ride

Will you sit beside me
Talk of where the angels lie
Will you hold on to me
And stop me when i die