Love story

I love you.

I love you.

Please baby!

But it hurts!

But I love you!

But it hurts!

You said you love me!

But it hurts!

I will be gentle.

But it hurts!

Do you feel better?

Hmmm

Yeah?

Hmmm

Did you come?

Hmmm

I love you.

I love you. 

Thedailybeast.com

A Suitable Girl

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For when you think I’m too old
To love and to have and to hold
Your Dorian laughs in his frame
As cracks appear across his face

For when you tell me I should cook
And not be reading so many books
Your kitchen sink mocks you
When everyday your dinner gets brutally bruised

For when you chide me for being too loud
And ask me to hold my tongue in a crowd
You know not how your friends oblige
By laughing when you really make them cry

For when you wonder if I’d be a good trophy
Me, with my innate lack of propriety
Your workplace thanks heavens
When you step away from matters of importance

For when you check if I’m “suitable”
If I’m a good enough “marriage material”
Alas! You are not able to see
You are not good enough for me!

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A Suitable Girl Part 2: The Digital Paranoia

“Does your Facebook account have things people wouldn’t want to find out?” My father asked the other day. Well, first of all, what is it you think I do that could interest anyone on Facebook. I do not put up pictures of me sunbathing on the beach, frankly, I don’t even remember the last time went to a beach(which is not Juhu beach!) Then he gets all defensive and sweet and goes oh no not you! Maybe someone else did it. And all the Criminal Minds episodes I have been willingly trying to forget come rushing back into my twisted mind! I have a first name so common it gives out 6,490,000 results on Google search, yes I checked, and don’t even get me started on the results of Facebook (It’s probably gonna pop up saying “Are you kidding me?!”). The name is basically a “John” and not a..well “Persius”, not that I am complaining, I’d rather be lost in internet anonymity than be fetched with the first result that comes. But it got me wondering, if we were to judge everyone as per our digital footprint, how much presence is enough? I am present in numerous writing websites (some I don’t even remember the password to!) This was before I found the blogger and decided let people come to me, instead of me reaching out to them. Not the world’s best idea, but frankly those sites are just ways to appease writers with really low self esteem and I, for one, am on my path away from self deprecation. Google has a keyword tool that tells you exactly how much a keyword was searched and from where! It was a dismal story to see that my name was searched a mere 28 times! Counting ex stalkers (every Indian girl has had at least one in her lifetime!), my dad and my own narcissistic self the number would barely reach five. Assuming the stalkers and I searched my name about 5 times and my dad searched it ten times (he is the true meaning of digital paranoia and well, he really loves me!), the number would probably reach an even 28. Considering the question of internet safety was raised due to the lack of matrimonial interests, it would be safe to say, if all it took to impress an Average Joe is a pretty linkedin profile and less than 100 search results on Google, he is pretty much a coward and also a little bit stupid, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a combination of the two.

A suitable girl: part 1

Meet Your average Jane, only she is not that average, she might be a bit of a recluse. Also, a little bit of a general freak of nature but those are just terms of endearments she calls herself. She works at a big shot job and is, by most people at work, called a little too loud in her dressing. No she is not a, hmm what’s the corporate word for it, “slut”, she doesn’t go about suggestively in the office at random men. Instead, she just dresses loudly and immerses herself in her job and sometimes tends to forget that people around her are humans and might find her even remotely good looking.

She has the same dreams, that average Jane, as every other Jane in the book. She looks for attention in the most mundane places, she hates it when before leaving for work her hair has this one strand sticking out, gosh, how did the parlor guys do it! She has a story in her head, the one she saw the night before, the one where across the street two eyes met and there was love at first sight (They should really stop making those movies.)

A phone call breaks her morning reverie, “Beta, new profile! I shall send you the link!” Her eyes dart towards her smart phone (which she knows nothing about) scrolls through to her email and finds, to her disappointment, yet another guy who looks like an average Joe and she wonders do all average Janes marry average Joes or do they in fact find some semblance of passion in this world. But no, not an average Jane, remember? She thinks back at the few hearts she has broken in the past and of the few men who have tried to break that shell around her heart.

She opens her Facebook account, looks for the average Joe and sees: interests: travelling; Why? Because he likes to meet new people! Who in the world would like people, she wonders! Other interests? Movies, don’t understand how movies can be a hobby either.

“Does that person understand passion like you do?” her best friend asks. And the average Jane wonders, “Ok. What passion?”.

She opens the thoughts to a notebook and thinks to herself. Is she worth anything? What are we all worth really? A profile on a million sites? When did life come down to a Google search. She opens her smart phone, touches it in many places and viola. It’s now something to share with an empty world full of cliches.