Knock on the Door

It pounds as it comes to life
my doors of hatred and spite
I look lost at the world ahead
at the easy happy roads I’ll tread
The pain I left behind
has melted in my mind
it seeps in through the cracks
through the unsavory joyous tracks
I look back sometimes hoping
that the door waiting to be opened
goes away in a blinding mist
makes its way to my bucket list
The pounding is now getting louder
like silent unending torture
I endure for now hoping I’d last
this failing torture of the past
At length I’d have to choose
to walk ahead with nothing to lose
or open the door as I look back
and let my soul fade to black….


All of life’s ridicule
caught in a tired noose
I seek my veins 
to meet blood so non-blue
He walks on in my shadows
back from the dead in a drink
is it the haze of the pills
or my inability to unthink
Haunting my shadows
ruining my past
he has led me to this place
to sighing my last
What is it to be
a string around the neck
or a knife run in too deep
to celebrate this murder of self respect
Tonight the trigger is friendly
one wound welcomes some more
for in that last moment
his ghost haunts me no more….