“Kindle”d

My black window awaits

So leave me be, my friend

Or perhaps become my enemy

For the stories will hold me afloat

My black window remains

Let me see, my dear

Or maybe you could leave

For the weight of its words will stay

My black window beckons

So you can rest, my love

Don’t nestle on my breast

For it will never leave my heart broken

My black window is full of light

So empty my room, fellow human

I don’t need a love looming

For it will keep my warm at night

My black window hurting my eyes

But I won’t sleep just yet, dear darkness

Its stories and I have just met

For plastic words feel better through watery eyes

My black window is my friend

It’s also my biggest fear, dear shadow

Should I heed what it whispers in my ears

And forever close the door till I reach my bookends? 

L’Étranger

Camus.jpg

What if I were

To not feel pain

What if I were

To not see love

 

Would I have

Lived this life in vain

Would I have

Found the eternal truth

 

What if I were

Deemed insane

What if I were

Incarcerated for the lack of tears

 

Would I have

An afterlife to gain

Would I have

Died a martyr?

 

If I were a stranger

To this unsought fame

If I weren’t a stranger

To the ways of the world

 

Would this noose

Have been my fate

Would this noose

Have meant anything at all?

 

I am now ready

To face the pain

I am now ready

For a thousand guillotines

 

For there is no greater joy

than the beauty in bane

For there is no greater joy

than the embrace of a void…

 

“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”- Albert Camus

On Lazy Vacations

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Think small, breathe deep

Wait for joy to rescue me?

 

Sit in silence across a table

Nodding off over crappy fables

 

Listening to the moans of an empty heart

Intensity to a man is just a small sum of parts

 

My soul will select her societies

My faith will live, perched on golden deities

 

Insignificance is dreary

When the mirror tells of it so clearly

 

I have barely been a day

Under the sun’s glare by the bay

 

And yet thoughts of life and death come easy

Like warm and cold in an empty sea breeze

 

Here in a room full of strangers

I find my voice the loudest and in danger

 

This thought

It had to be put down

That smile

It had to be spent

For a heart

Whose love knows no bounds

Hurts when

It is strummed into silence.

Relentless

Never a reality

Always a fleeting thought

She lets her dreams ebb and flow

Through a destiny rust wrought

She walks on embers

Across scintillating skies

Her smile is precious

Even through moist eyes

Did they write this sorrow?

Did they know she will rise

Like a phoenix through the ashes

Did they see her sunrise?

 

 

Perhaps

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Perhaps love grows
In conversations
Or in smiles
Or in ambiguous persuasions

In my stupid mind
I first fall then rise
Ebbing and flowing in waves
Of dreamy sighs

And then on starry nights
Under the yellow lamp posts
I slowly give in
And abandon my unholy ghosts

The voices are quiet
For now
They await the slow destruction
Of the written word’s flow

They only know darkness
Found shadows
Under bright lights
And never let the night go

Perhaps now in the eternal sunshine
Of a mind sans blemishes
They slowly unravel
And surrender to the heart’s wishes

Tiny Notes

In my weird daily cosmos

There exist tiny pieces of yellow

One that thanks me for memories

Others that say I love you

 

Before you leave this room

Past the sea of unread notes

I wonder if they breathe at night

Sigh and smile like lovely ghosts

 

I read one and gaze ahead

The second I tape to my wall

Another lies etched in my dream

That’s the one that rules them all

 

It reads of promises

Of undying faith.

Whispers in the breeze

and takes my breath away…

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Halfway House

girl child

Mama, spare me a thought

When you let go of that hand

Your lonely life may hurt a lot

But don’t blame me for the bones that thaw

I know I wasn’t always wanted

Inside these dirty walls

I wasn’t a dream that was granted

I know you wished for my fall

But spare a thought for the unwanted spirit

The one that haunts these tiny hands

It maybe cursed but it’s still a gift

For it comes from your fertile lands

The idea of me maybe daunting

But if I smile like an angel will you let me be?

If I promise to be a quiet darling

Will you then hold on to me?

Mama, I can tell we aren’t home yet

This fear you feel is a ruse

The real home will be full of love I bet

This is just a halfway house