A Suitable Girl

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For when you think I’m too old
To love and to have and to hold
Your Dorian laughs in his frame
As cracks appear across his face

For when you tell me I should cook
And not be reading so many books
Your kitchen sink mocks you
When everyday your dinner gets brutally bruised

For when you chide me for being too loud
And ask me to hold my tongue in a crowd
You know not how your friends oblige
By laughing when you really make them cry

For when you wonder if I’d be a good trophy
Me, with my innate lack of propriety
Your workplace thanks heavens
When you step away from matters of importance

For when you check if I’m “suitable”
If I’m a good enough “marriage material”
Alas! You are not able to see
You are not good enough for me!

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The Red Shoe

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A little red shoe
Is the gateway
To the world
Full of dreams for you

It lies in innocence
Deep in the garden
Of my blooming daffodils
Awaiting your remembrance

A swing set sways
Blown by the wind
Wishing for your company
On this winter’s day

Awaiting your tiny hands
That held on to the chains
And with each rise
Imagined unknown mysterious lands

A lovely dressed up doll
Sits alone at your tea party
She misses the hugs
That kept away the night’s cold

She awaits mundane conversations
Your fairy tale concerns
The view from the dollhouse now:
Everyday is a dark revelation

Perched on my window sill
My cold dark mind
Flutters like that bee
Buzzing around my daffodils

They miss your touch so tender
Their beauty belying the truth
They bloom from the love
Seeping through from six feet under….

Her shadow

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I was born as an afterthought
A shadow of her truth
I was never surprised
That I wasn’t their God’s perfect muse

I was a plan B
A wilful addition
Aren’t we all?
We ,the secondary volitions…

I often wonder
Would I have been different
If she’d have stepped in after me
Like her, would I have been as benevolent

In sharing their love
Like a share of the pie
Would I have done the same?
If she teared up would I have cried?

Would I have felt then
What I feel now
Would I have thought myself
A useless tug along tow?

But it hits me
Uselessness is a disease
It has nothing to do with her
My mind goes where it pleases

And it pleases to think me
Unnecessary!
I’m masochistic that way
Without her as my blissfully ignorant glee

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Sigh. Smile. Reminisce.
The thought awakens real slow
In this empty world
I’d rather be her shadow
Than go it alone
Or grant her my own

Contemplation

The machines they hum
in a distance in land
I look through the glass
my pills in hand

Can feel my breath slowing down
Is this what she felt
when life went numb
and God was dead?

In this second I know the truth
love is far more than
just a fleeting sigh
and a mystic rant

Morning lights and night skies
the city knows of hidden joys
of perfect smiles
and imperfect boys 🙂

It’s time for the glass again
the pills stare back
pleading to remain
in their emptied stack

Looking back at the life I lived
I wonder is this it?
Is this the end of this sorrow
by a mere slit wrist?

There has to be more to this
more mistakes to be made
there has to be a greater good
than the illusion that love evades…

Mumbai Minutes


Just as the clock turns to 4 in the city that never sleeps, there is this one room up in the Girl’s Hostel of SPJIMR where the light are on. By the looks of it, the city around me (at least the view outside) is sleeping and I’m listening to some jazz by the beloved Dr. House, Hugh Laurie. No, No, these aren’t bouts of insomnia. They are just moments in the dark wondering the meaning of social equations. 


So this one is for all those people who think it necessary (even obligatory) to read EVERY single blog by a friend. Please don’t bother constantly reading what I write waiting for it to make sense, for if it didn’t make sense the first few times, it wouldn’t make sense now either. 

I, for one, am a huge believer in individual opinion (LOVED Ayn Rand) and do not feel you should do anything obligatory AT ALL. So all those handshakes you do because you HAVE to? Don’t do them unless you want to and if you still give in to the rules of social conduct you are just making yourself look smaller and in fact in certain cultures (including ours) you are a closeted social psychopath! For you are shaking someone’s hand and thinking I really don’t want to be here!

I used to be that person for majority of my life too so I understand what you are going through. The sudden all important question of “Oh My God, What will they/he/she think?!” is the worst curse on all the members of this twisted society. 

I have learnt it the hard way but the only person you really need to please is YOU and even while some overrated virtuous people who talk of how they want to “selflessly” help their friends and expect a golden star for it. I am of the belief that unless doing something nice for somebody in your life makes you happy, you are not being benevolent, you are just hoping for a medal.

I have been blessed with finding unlikely individuals who feel the same way I do! My best friends (god knows I love you guys!) have taught me the real meaning of the word love, it’s not about what you do for the other person, it’s more about doing something for them and finding your joy in theirs!

So this here is a tribute for “like-minded” individuals who choose to befriend and read what I write and shake hands not because they HAVE to but because they WANT to! and the others? BEWARE: you are on your way to becoming the guy who brings the gun one day to office and shoots everyone down! Either shut yourself into your hole or better still make a few friends for REAL than living the life your mirror wants you to live!